There is no life without God

Because my scanner is down, I decided to share a part of my life with you.

I am in my senior year now, but this story takes place two years ago. I had just broken up with my on and off boyfriend for the last time. We had a mutual friend which I had a HUGE fight with and she cussed me out and made me feel worse than I already had (I’ve always been sensitive). After this fight, I stopped going to church. I couldn’t bare to face these people that I once loved. My life slowly started going in a downward spiral and I began to accept it.

I embraced homosexual feelings and acted on them. I hung out with the worst possible friends. I was living life as a sinner and I hated it. I started cutting again, and I even attempted suicide.

When I rejected the God that had saved my life two years earlier, His blanket of protection was lifted off of me. Living outside of that protection is dangerous because you are on your own in a cruel world. I ended up dislocating my knee, which was the most painful experience in my life. I had to use a wheelchair and crutches. I slept on my living room couch and needed help to do simple things like bathe.

I was forced against my will to go back to church. I couldn’t handle everyone staring at me. Even though they were friendly and had good intentions, the sin in me hated them. I was ashamed that I had let my life get so bad.

Eventually, I started to open my heart to God again and He began healing my brokenness. He took away my shame and softened my heart. I even forgave the people who wronged me, because if God could forgive me for all my wrongdoing, why couldn’t I forgive someone else?

The point of this story is to let you know that I have lived without God and that I can honestly and wholeheartedly say that it is a living hell.

God heals.
God restores.
God loves.